The following can work for every single night of the year. Keep in mind that it gets even busier on Fridays and Saturdays. The secret in having a good night is to know when to go and where. You can find a peak below of that untold schedule.
In the Evening (around 7-8-9 pm)
You can go for dinner anywhere in the city, by the beach in Meloneras or Playa del Ingles, or at Yumbo. Good food is spread out across town. In some cases your accommodation itself will also have options, but it’s better to step out.
You will find a selection of pretty much every kind of food possible: seafood, Spanish food, Italian (pizzas and pastas), American (burgers), Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Libanese, Morrocan, Greek, etc…
You can trust the many reviews on TripAdvisor and Google Maps for that to choice your restaurant (currently working on making our own selection). Here we can already recommend “Lola”.
You can also order food from them. Most use either Glovo (more choice + groceries) or Uber Eats. (Download either app). Very convenient if you are hosting a gathering in your accommodation.
Around 9-10-11pm (between 21:00 and 23:00)
Head over to Yumbo ground floor for a selection of bars for a chill drink.
Go all the way downstairs on Yumbo for a nice sit down drinks with friends at Parrots, Café Latino, Mardi Gras, La Bulle.
French-speakers go to Peppermint or Barack’Afé , for the Dutch-speakers go to Macho Macho, Germans go downstairs from it at Da Uhnd or Barenhole, for the bears of all kinds the terraces of Tom’s Bar or Cruise Terrace will do.
For early drag animations: Ricky’s all the way downstairs by the Burger King (held in English).
Around 11:30pm-Midnight:
For drag shows go at Funny Boys (in English and Spanish) or Sparkles (English) or Terry Show (in Spanish but the Drag Queens will be cute and try to speak your language).
For those who want to dance on pop music and reggaeton : Mykonos dancing bar. Crowd is in their twenties to forties. Be nicely dressed and sexy to show up there.
Around 3am and 4am:
From 3:00am many go to Mantrix Nightclub. The crowd from Mykonos moves there when it closes. Find a circuit party and house music on the dancefloor of this club. Meaning you can be shirtless. This club also have a cruising maze area which is taken over by the people from Strong Construction and the other cruising bars which closed at 4am.
From 3-4am until 6am: Coco Loco for pop music with Pussycat Dolls, Britney Spears, Cher and the likes is also a nice option. You can request the songs played through the Whatsapp number displayed on the screens, and that include all of the new pop songs of the moment.
All Night Long (from 10:00pm to 6:00am)
Pretty much all of the island’s activities are for adults. that includes “Cruising bars” which is a low-key way of saying “gay sex club”. Yes, sex tourism is a thing, and Maspalomas the leader at it worldwide for the gays. It is so gay and horny, that there are not only 1 or 2 cruising bars, but about… 10 (yes 10) !!! So for the freakiest, you can also spend some time there: Strong Construction, The Factory, Zoo, Reds, Tom’s Bar, Noxon, The Bunker, Cruise Bar, The Box and Time Off are all great options to empty your sack. Some open earlier than other. When all of them close at 4am, everyone from these go to The Bunker which stays open until 6am. Get your fetish on, harnesses and jockstraps are the norm there. Each sex club has its own thing and own themed nights. Some have a strict dress code, some don’t. To see the differences between all of them, check here.
When everything at Yumbo closes (at 6am)
If you haven’t already picked up someone and brought him back to your resort yet, the the after-party continues in private with chill parties (sexy house parties).
Catch the guys outside the Mantrix/Bunker or check on Grindr / Scruff around 4-5-6am, you will find people hosting a “chill” gathering (mostly sex parties mixed with social) in their resorts. (Feel free to initiate one as well). Those last the whole morning until late into the evening for the very good ones.
Then repeat… 🙂